"God, teach me lessons for living so I can stay the course. Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—my whole life one long, obedient response."
Psalm 119:33-34 (Message)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Big 3-0

I am entering a new "season" of life. In a few days I turn 30. And going into the new age for me I enter it confused, scared, hurting, loved, blessed, humbled, insecure, excited, dependent on God, still learning to let go and let God do His thing. I am emotional, determined, unsure, and on a journey that I have no clue where it is going and how I am going to get "there".

I don't know what I have to offer or do, but yet know that God can do anything through me if I am willing and obedient - oh and patient waiting on His timing again.

It is funny how God teaches you lessons and you think that you get it only to be faced with it again in a new and different way to learn and grow, to again know God as He reveals Himself to you in a way that you can touch. For that I am excited for the pain and struggle I am so not!

In all this God is teaching me that it is okay to be content to being a wife and a mama. I don't keep the best house - there is dust on my desk right now and dishes that need to be done and laundry that have been in a basket for .... well I am not telling you :). But all of this is IMPORTANT, not that I didn't think it was before, but sometimes I get caught up in "things" and forget how blessed I am here learning and doing the job that is right in front of me, that these days will soon be gone to a new season of life to enjoy. I sometimes want more, want more praise, more to say that I have done something amazing but I am not seeing that I have done so much in loving and supporting Danny and taking care of the boys and training them to be men of character and men who love God. Not to mention what I want more of is really me, myself and I, and God is saying loud and clear that I don't need anymore of me but that I desperately need more of Him. To realize and truly live knowing He is all I need in my day.

So here I am, ready - I think, to go, to listen, to wait, to obey, to learn, to trust, to climb again to where God wants me to be and to really live each day knowing God is all I need and He provides abundantly.

"You are my God. I worship you. In my heart, I long for you, as I would long for a stream in a scorching desert. I have seen your power and your glory in the place of worship. Your love means more than life to me, and I praise you. As long as I live, I will pray to you." Psalms 63:1-4

1 comment:

Verna A said...

I so relate to your thoughts and feelings, Kim! You are very special and God is working through you -- perhaps even when you don't know it or when you aren't "looking." Keep your focus and eyes on the Lord and He will guide and direct your every step! Dad and I are very proud of you and love you dearly!
Happy 30th Birthday, Kimberly Ann!